Saturday, December 31, 2011

Dream



2012..The beginnig of the end?

It's happening. The year 2012 is just a few hours away. Wow! 2012..A year that has been tossed around as the year of the end. If it's true, and even if it isn't...I am going to live every day like the end is coming. I am going to enjoy every possible minute..no regrets. I will travel, I will vacation, I will play with my son, I will date my husband...I will live the way I should have been living my whole life! I will tell people I love them. I will make new friends. I will cherish my old friends. I will tell my family how much they mean to me. I will be the kind of person who is kind to people. I will live! I will be spontaneous. I will be a force for good. I will be whatever I want to be. I will not allow people to make me feel insignificant. I will not be a person who makes others feel insignificant. I will be involved. I will be invested in life. I will be!!
Happy New Year to you all....now .....What will you be?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Fate?



Whether it's fate, a miracle, or a blessing, I am thankful I am where I am today!

25 MORE things you may not know about me

25. I actually don't like to ring in the New Year. I like to be asleep by 11pm and wake up the next morning feeling completely fresh


24. Skinny women with fake blond hair, big boobs, and fake nails irritate me..


23. Pious People make me want to scream


22. I feel like I have finally become close to the person I want to be..and it's very exciting


21. Going through the LDS temple opened my eyes in ways I didn't expect it to. And I am thankful for that


20. Brittany Fairbourn has made me re-think certain aspects of my life...in a good way


19. Nannette has kept out of the dark side many many times...


18. I don't like smelly repairmen


17. I find tattooed people fascinating.


16. I have tattoos and I don't regret getting them


15. The TV show "Criminal Minds" is both scary and amazing to me


14. I hope to one day "DEFY GRAVITY"


13. I love Pubs...i want to own one someday


12. I refuse to cave in to peer pressure


11. There are only 2 women in the world that I can not tolerate to be around


10. I believe all rapists should be put to death


9. I will always be a busy body in my sons life (until he no longer needs me)


8. I believe Drug Dealers should be tied up in the center of town, naked, so that EVERYONE knows who they are


7. I believe in mercy, but I believe in justice more


6. I believe in Planned Parenthood


5. I think that everyone should have a story to tell


4. I think that every child should have the chance to have a good family


3. Parents that abuse their kids are not parents in my eyes


2. Men that cheat on their wives, but claim they still love their wives are full of sh*t


1. I think everyone should skinny dip at least once in their lives


Thursday, December 29, 2011

Farewell






At the end of each year I like to look back and take stock in the people that we lost. We lost some pretty amazing people this year. Each one left a legacy, probably more than they imagined. So, I would like to list those that we have said farewell (not goodbye) to this past year...



1. Kreg Kolb



2. Steve Jobs



3. Amy Winehouse



4. Elizabeth Taylor



5. Joe Frazier



6. Peter Falk



7. Harry Morgan



8. Cliff Robertson



9. Michael Gough (Alfred in the Batman movies)



10. Frances Bay (Grandma in Happy Gilmore)



11. Jeff Conaway






12. Bubba Smith



13. "Macho Man" Randy Savage



14. Jack Kevokian



15. Sargent Shriver



16. Jack LaLanne



17. Dan Wheldon



18. Heavy D



19. Dobie Gray



20. Calrence Clemons



21. Dolores Hope



22. Betty Ford



23. Geraldine Ferraro



24. Andy Rooney


25. All of our brothers and sisters in the Armed Forces who lost their lives.


May you have the peace you fought for.








I am sure we lost others who I didn't mention..but each one of these on this list meant something to me. Each one of them affected my life in some way, good or bad. Farewell, and God speed..you will be missed.

Why the republicans might lose in 2012




I'm a democrat. Have been since I learned the difference between the two parties. I am a very liberal thinker. I am, as my husband likes to call me, "A tree hugging pot smoking hippy" (even though I don't hug trees, don't smoke pot (anymore at least) and the hippy smell drives me crazy.) I try to keep my mind open when it comes to voting. At the last election I was actually considering voting for McCain until he brought on Palin..she is WAAAY to crazy for me. I voted for Obama and am still very proud of him. I read the news (not FOX though because ,sadly, Fox news is way tooo National Enquirer for me) I watch the debates, I study up on the issues. I think I am pretty well informed on what's going on in the world. I think I know who I want to vote for...




That being said, Republicans have GOT to start getting serious. Newt Gingrich? Really? Bachman? Really? Rand Paul? c'mon! Rick Perry? Get serious.




Now, I have a few Candidates that I like, and believe me, saying that shocks the hell out of me!




First, I love love love John Huntsman. I could totally get behind him. Do I think he stand a chance of getting the nomination? No way...but people should take him more serious.




I am growing fond on Mitt Romney. Take out the fact that we share a religion. That has NOTHING to do with why I like him. Heck, I can't stand most celebrity figures that share my religion. Mitt Romney has class. Mitt Romney has a heart, and an open mind. Mitt Romney is a good family man..he isn't on wife number 4. He's open to change. People complain about him being a "flip flopper" I like that..it shows me that he's not going to stick to something that isn't working. He knows how to manage money. He has good ideas...so why isn't he the #1 choice?




The "Christian right" (and we all know how much disdain I have for them) claims that he's not a Christian, so they can't get behind him..Really? People say that he doesn't have enough Foreign Policy knowledge..hmm...no one will ever have that much knowledge until they actually have to deal with foreign policy..and he can hire someone who knows what's going on.. if I were in charge of the GOP I would get rid of all the dumb-asses that want to be President, and stand with the one who could actually BE the President. Mitt Romney will gain the followers as the election gets closer...but God forbid, someone else wins the nomination, you can say hello to four more blessed years of Obamacrats...which, I for one, am hoping for.




So, to all you Republicans who read this..get to work on choosing a REAL threat to Obama..Make this upcoming election worth while.


My Favorite Movies



I LOVE movies. I always have. My husband and I LOVE movies and we have passed that love down to our son. So, I am going to let you in on my favorite movies of ALL time. These are not in any specific order...






35. Legally Blond



34. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen



33. Hellboy



32. James Bond..pretty much all of them



31. Independence Day



30. The American President



29. Down Periscope



28. Fame



27. Christmas Story



26. Dolphin Tale



25. Tombstone.. "I'm your Huckleberry"



24. Pete's Dragon



23. Space Jam .... "My clothes don't fit"



22. Sweet Home Alabama



21. Dumb and Dumber... "It's okay, I'm the Limo driver"



20. The Wizard of Oz



19. The Sound Of Music



18. Forrest Gump.. "I may not be a smart man..."



17. Zoolander



16. The Hangover



15. Rocky..Parts 1,2, 3 and the very last one



14. The Mummy



13. Footloose..The original, not the new one



12. The Contender



11. Indiana Jones..ALL of them



10. The Shawshank Redemption



9. Gone With the Wind



8. Harry Potter..except for the 6th one



7. Ghostbusters



6. Boogie Nights



5. Long Kiss Goodnight



4. Mulan



3. All the Muppet Movies



2. Kung Foo Panda



1. The Blind Side

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Just a thought



I am a very blessed person. I really am. Tonight I made dinner for my family. My husband was home from a job he has held for almost 20 years, my son is strong, healthy, and smart. We enjoyed each others company. I washed my dishes with clean water, in a dishwasher. My laundry was done. I washed my clothes in, once again, clean water. I didn't have to go down to a stream. I dried them in a clothes dryer. I talked to my sister on the phone and laughed so hard a little tear almost ran down my leg. My mom texted me. My big brother and his family are safe and happy. My beautiful niece is going to have a baby boy in a clean hospital. My other sister in Utah is finally seeing the light at the end of a very long tunnel. My little brother is happily married to an amazing woman who adores him. My in-laws are well, and happy. We can all stay in touch however often we want. I look out my front windows at my car that is awesome. It's full of gas, it works..it's safe...My Dogs are well fed, they are loved and taken good care of. I am sitting in my warm home, typing on a computer. I have everything I could ever need. I watch the commercials about the starving children all over the world, and I can give money to them without making life difficult for me. I am so very humbled right now. I think of all the friends I have made, and I can stay in touch with all of them through facebook, or texting..I am amazed at all that I can do with just a push of a button. My best friends son is getting ready to go on a mission to Japan. She did it..she raised an amazing young man who is following his heart. My other FABULOUS friend Pam is getting ready for her husbands retirement from the navy after 30 years! How awesome is that? Life is good. Life is as it should be. As this year comes to an end and I prepare for what I am sure will be another exciting, change-filled year, I can happily say that I am good. I love all of you who read this blog...and all of you who don't. May God bless each and everyone of you.

Apology




I apologize ahead of time.

What comes out of my mouth may offend you

Things I think About




1. Why do people quote scripture to make a point? I mean, you're kind of taking things out of context. You don't take a sentence out of a story to answer something..like when someone asks you how was your day you don't say "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" Scriptures are awesome, they can answer personal questions, but please don't quote one scripture and assume that because it's from the bible it's the ONLY answer. For instance, the people who quote scripture about "homosexuality being a sin" tend to forget other parts..like it's a sin to touch the skin of a pig, or you can't plant different crops next to each other, or "Judge not." I've said it before, and I will say it again, The Bible is a great book, but you have to remember, like every other book there is a moral to it..and I think that moral is "God loves you, he wants you to be happy, and he has given you the steps to be happy..."





2. Why do people just blame the stupid ass famous people that have affairs? Tiger Woods has taken a beating for his extra marital crap, yet the women he screwed got a cover story in Vanity Fair. These women knew who he was before they spread their legs for him. I say shame on them too. If you choose to sleep with a married man, you don't deserve respect. You deserve nothing.

You don't get to have a photo shoot and you don't deserve your own reality TV show....


3. I think we need to stop giving free stuff to the illegals. I think that illegals are not bad people 90% of the time, but I don't think they shouldn't get the same benefits as legal citizens.


4. I believe Gay people should be able to get married, have kids (natural or adopted) , get divorced, and have all the same benefits that everyone else has, and shame on anyone who thinks differently. I do not believe that Gay people are degenerates. I believe they should be able to live their lives the way they want. I support them in their choices. I support two adults choosing to spend the rest of their lives together. I support a teenager coming out to his family, friends, schoolmates, and clergy without being mocked, disowned, ex-communicated, or bullied.


5. I believe churches need to stay out of politics COMPLETELY. If a clergy member stands on a pulpit and tells the congregation how they should vote, what propositions they should donate too, or what they should tell their congressmen..that church should sure as hell start paying taxes. I can tell you I was so disappointed in the Mormon churches in California during the Proposition 8 (or as it's called now Proposition hate) I realize that not everyone voted the way the church wanted, but I was sickened by the fact that congregations became a part of church condoned bigotry.




6. I think if the Republican party does not pull it's collective head out of it's collective ass we can count on 4 more years of President Obama. I for one would be very very happy about that!




7. I can not stand the "Christian Right" groups...namely..The Million Moms...THEY ARE CRAZY LOONY!!!!!




8. I love the beach. The Beach is my "Place of Prayer" I love the feeling of the sand, the sun shining down, the water lapping..it's just an awesome place


9. I believe that the military is an awesome organization. I am honored to be married to a sailor. I am so very proud of him and all his brothers and sisters in the armed forces.

10. I think I think to much..maybe I'll stop doing that!!












Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Lose yourself




Live it up.

Make a memory.

Take a chance.

Make mistakes.

Risk it all.

There's only one life to live.

Lose yourself.

I was born to be...

When I was growing up, I had a fear of being myself. I always felt a little out of place. As I got older, my fear was still there, but I learned how to hide it. I learned that my ideas, though different, we're not wrong. I started to really like myself. I owe some pretty amazing people for showing me the way. I try to instill this in Macen..but I know it will have to be something he figures out on his own.
I have been called "outspoken" I have been told that I am "weird" I am often accused of being stubborn, hard headed, a pain in the ass, too liberal, and many many other things. The thing is, I don't care. I am proud of who I am, of what I believe. I march to the beat of my own drum, and I love it. I will speak my mind and will not be silenced when faced with bigotry, hate, or just plain stupidity....
I am proud that I can rise above the hate that happens, I am proud to be a little crazy!!!

Normal?




Normal?

Its the setting on your dryer,

not a standard to live by.

Why I HATE Porn



okay, so a few weeks ago I posted that I hated Porn, and I promised that I would give reasons...so here it goes...



It's not because of the nudity. I think that the human body is a beautiful thing. For centuries artists have sculpted and painted the human body in every shape, size and color. I think it's very important that we show our children how to love their body..



I hate porn because it's run by men. It's 98% viewed by men. It's male dominated...



Women have fought for equal rights and every time a woman poses nude, videos herself having sex, flaunts her body for money, we make women's rights laughable.



I don't mind the women in porn. I don't respect them, but I don't dislike them. In fact, some of these women are gorgeous. Some are very intelligent...but you wouldn't know because they are not showing their minds...



I think that if a woman does it because it's truly what she wants to do..Great..more power to her..but I promise you that no little girl looks in the mirror and says "When I grow up, I want to be a porn star" No girl looks at her life and says "I hope I can be a hooker" No female goes to sleep and dreams of the day she is standing naked in front of sweaty, gross men and does the unmentionable.



I do believe that porn is a scourge upon society. I believe that it is destroying our children's view on reality. I believe it is hurting our young girls more than we will ever know.



We pose naked women on the cover and put a gloss finish on it, and say to our young women.."This is what men want, this is what you need to look like. This is how you must dress to get a man." We show the pictures and videos to our young men and tell them "This is what women are used for, this is what you need to master in order to please a woman..."



It's time that women stop selling themselves. It's time we stand up and beat the sh*t out of rapists, and molesters. It's time that we say to men.."Stop disrespecting us..we are more than just boobs." It's time that we tell the porn stars.."ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" It's time that we tell Hugh, and Larry and all the other Porn kings that they can not own us anymore. We women must unite and show the world that we will not tolerate sexual slavery. There are more women than men in the world..just think what we could do if we stood together...

Friday, December 23, 2011

2011 A year in Review



‎2011...a year in review.



Best person award: Donna Darlene



Worst person award: Casey Anthony, Mr. Cain, Congress



Biggest surprise: Uneventful trip across the countrywith my amazing husband, Macen and THREE freakin' dogs



Favorite new quote: "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." ~Steve Jobs



Favorite new music: Chicken Foot


Favorite new discovery: Bissel Mint water for my Shark Steamer


My Favorite new thing: HUGE Wintergreen Life Saver Mints


Greatest loss: Steve Jobs



Hmmm we'll see: The end of the world in December of 2012



Best new tv show: Revenge



Best reality tv show: The Republican Presidential Debates.



Favorite event: Grant coming home/ everyday since Grant came home



Justice!: Osama Bin Laden's death



Funniest moment: Santana telling us about Fallato, and Charlie Sheens breakdown



Gonna miss that: Oprah, Harry Potter



Holy Shit! moment: Japanese Earthquake, Tsunami, Joplin Tornado, Virginia Earthquake



Couldn't have made it without you: My family, Nanette, Pam, Santana, and Catherine



2011 Facebook status star: Ummm...ME!!!

Truth



Truth angers the foolish and confuses the unwise.

You can't please everybody



"You can't please everybody. You just have to make the decision you think is right".

Thursday, December 22, 2011

There are times



I think there are times when we need our children more than they need us.

The Grass might be Greener...




the grass might be greener on the other side,

but that could just mean that there's more shit over there fertilizing the land

Sometimes...





Sometimes



you have to let go



of the life you had planned



in order to see



the life that is waiting for you!

25 MORE things you may not know about me but you wish you did..


25. I don't like to ride in Limos..they remind me of death
24. I love winter until February, then I want spring
23. I don't like people who smoke in their car with their baby in the back seat...
22. I don't use my cell phone when I am driving, and I will honk at people who talk on cell phones when they are driving...I am a "hang up and drive" b*tch
21. I think Oprah is more of a religious leader than a celebrity
20. I think that Mitt Romney would be a good President (That does NOT mean I will vote for him)
19. I think that repealing of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was a fantastic idea. I stand with ALL those who serve in the armed forces, and do not care if they are Gay or Straight, as long as they are good, decent, honest people.
18. I am actually nervous about the end of the world...but not because I am afraid of dying...more like how I might die...Bridges, tunnels, sharks...eek!
17. I think people who abuse animals should suffer the same fate that the abused animals have.
16. I love waking up in the morning..
15. I love going to sleep at night
14. I wouldn't switch lives with anyone
13. I get sick in Hospitals..
12. I love Santa Clause..of all the fictional characters, he is my favorite
11. I would like to go into space
10. I would love to own a zoo
9. I am a bad ass when someone is stupid on purpose
8. I crave jellied candies when I get nervous
7. Jelly Beans ROCK
6. I have a huge crush on bald men!
5. When I win the lottery, I am going to own a house in Hawaii, Yorktown, and a cabin in Idaho..
4. I believe that the Christian right does more harm than good
3. I have met very few "true Christians" in my life (but let me just say, the ones that I have met have changed my life for the better)
2. I think "The People of Wal-Mart" web sight is so much fun
1. I fear the day that I look at "The People Of Wal-Mart" web sight and I am on it!

Monday, December 19, 2011

I am not stubborn



"I'm not stubborn, I just passionately adhere to my own opinions."

Choice



If I had the choice to choose

between being normal and being me..

I would totally choose to be me!!

Things

Today I miss my daughter. It gets hard every year around this time. I see all the cute Christmas dresses, all the dolls, the easy bake oven..things that little girls would love. I miss my daughter.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Your Pathway

Do not allow others to make your path for you.

It is YOUR road and yours alone.

Others may walk it with you

but no one can walk it for you!

Words to Remember




WORDS TO REMEMBER:

Whatever hits the fan...

Will not be evenly distributed!

No Words

The most profound statement is often said in silence

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Things I Think I Believe





25. I believe in People more than religion.


24. I believe in following my heart.


23. I believe in facing the consequences of my actions..and I do so willingly


22. I believe that the "Old Testament" of the bible is not as important as the "New Testament"


21. I believe in a persons right to choose


20. I believe that if a church makes a political statement, or tells their congregations how to vote, that church needs to start paying taxes.


19. I believe that adults who molest children should be hung in the center of town by their private parts


18. I believe that our judicial system has lost it's way.


17. I believe that Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson are both guilty of murder


16. I believe that the Westboro Kansas Baptist church is a terrorist group


15. I believe that "Occupy _______" lost it's message after the 2nd week


14. I believe that every child should have the opportunity to go to a sleep away summer camp


13. I believe that every couple should have a trial period before the marriage becomes official


12. I believe that in this day and age there should never be an unplanned pregnancy.


11. I believe that if we put as much money into our schools as we do into Walmart, Cable companies, fast food places and Cell phones we would have less crime and less dumb asses


10. I believe that every person should experience life in the Military for at least 6 months


9. I believe that reality tv is not real


8. I believe that those who preach hate, intolerance, and bigotry are just as bad as murderers


7. I believe that right will always beat out wrong


6. I believe that if you have one best friend, you have wealth


5. I believe that having Macen was the single greatest thing I ever did


4. I believe that there is always always always something to be grateful for.


3. I believe that love will always be stronger than hate


2. I believe that Heaven is for real


1. I believe in God and in his son Jesus Christ




Friday, December 16, 2011

Super Powers you ask?


Yes, I have super powers, they just don't work if anyone is watching.

Bird Poop




Every time a bird poops on my car,

I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch,

just to show them what I'm capable of.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Bored




I am

very,

absolutely,

acutely,

amply,

astonishingly,

awfully,

excessively,

extremely,

incredibly,

largely,

positively,

surprisingly,

terribly,

vastly

BORED

I AM ME



I AM ME!

For those who understand,

no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand,

no explanation is possible.

Live your life....

The choices we make define us. You can choose to follow a crowd, or you can choose to stand on your own. Each one will make a difference. I follow the crowd every once in awhile..if the crowd believes in the same things I do. If the crowd believes differently than me, then I stand on my own. When I was younger, it was a hard thing to do. I didn't like being different. Now that I am older and wiser, I love standing out. I love to speak my mind. I love to stand up for those who are afraid to speak up for themselves. I find that as I start speaking up, others around me start speaking up too. I don't just believe something willy-nilly. I have to feel it in my heart. If I feel it in my heart, I KNOW it's right. Others may not agree with me, but that's their choice. I don't mind that people disagree with me, as long as they are doing it because they feel it in their hearts as well. Too many times I hear people say "Well, that's just how I was raised." That doesn't mean it's right for YOU! My parents raised me the best way they could. Some of their teachings I took to heart. Some, as I got older, I didn't agree with..I have to be true to MYSELF above all others. I may get hit by a bus tomorrow..and if I do, I can say I lived my life according to my beliefs...chances are though, I won't get hit by a bus..I will live a long life..and I will continue to make choices that I can live with.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Sometimes...



Sometimes you need to rock the boat just to make sure you are still in the water!

25 MORE things you may not know about me






25. I am intolerant of intolerant people..figure THAT one out!


24. I love the smell of Downy April Fresh Fabric Softener.


23. I love the smell of a freshly peeled orange

22. I like to eat Apples and Bananas (If you know the song, commence singing)

21. I want to be a Social studies teacher, or a History Professor

20. I want to discover cool things like Ben Gates in "National Treasure"

19. I love those little oranges..Clementines I think they're called!


18. I believe that if I taught Sex Education, Unexpected Teenage pregnancies would cease to exist


17. I want to end bullying world wide..starting with ANYONE who bullies my son!

16. I think my best time ever at the chiefs club was that night with Pam Forsch where we went through the entire Karaoke book!


15. One of my most favorite memories of Nan is when she swore in church..I knew we were soul mates!

14. I love love love to sing in the shower and in the car!!

13. I tend to swear..it's my outlet. I make no apologies.


12. I love the smell of wood burning.

11. I don't like to camp..unless I have a shower and working bathroom

10. I am not a hunter..nope, no way. My husband does it, he loves it..I'll just stay home and have a spa day.

9. I will NEVER cheat on my husband, and if he ever cheated on me...God help him...


8. I love to see my husband in his uniform. 13 years and it still makes me go weak in the knees


7. I love to steam clean my floor, but I don't like to vacuum


6. I laugh at my own inside jokes at inappropriate times.


5. If I could adopt a Chinese girl I would name her "Sum-ting Wong"


4. I am terrified of bridges, tunnels, and sharks


3. I really think I am my parents favorite child


2. I like to tell my parents that I think I really am their favorite child.


1. I would like to be the Queen of the World.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Toast!




Here's to those who love me,

here's to those who don't!

Here's to those who would if they could,

and to hell with them who won't!

I talk toooo much...




My problem is not finding the words, it's keeping my mouth shut....

Twenty Years ago...



Twenty years ago I thought I had it "all figured out". Today I embrace the mystery of life, and know that there are many ways of looking at the world.

Just wondering as I drink this cold glass of Milk...



I'm wondering... what was the person who discovered milk, really doing to that cow in the first place?

Just a thought



Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes

25 things you may not know about me



25. I cry at least once every day, for any reason



24. I am scared to death of horses



23. I like to stir up trouble



22. I will always stand up and place my hand on my Heart for the Pledge



21. Homeless people frighten me (for reasons I will explain in a later blog)



20. I support Gay rights more than religious rights



19. I had my first crush when I was in 2nd grade



18. I knew I was going to be with Grant the first time I met him



17. I don't mind being alone



16. I don't like "fitting in"



15. I love sappy romance movies



14. My Best Friend Nan is much smarter than me



13. I want to live in Hawaii



12. I no longer know what my real hair color is



11. I love the smell of a freshly brewed pot of coffee



10. I have gotten stoned more times in my life than I choose to remember



9. I am actually a very shy person



8. I don't like it when people quote scripture to me to make a point



7. Glen Beck and I share a religion, not beliefs



6. I still wake up in the middle of the night to check on Macen



5. I don't like to babysit, or even hold newborn babies..serious need of therapy for that one!!!



4. I try to give up Diet Coke at least once a month..hasn't worked yet



3. I actually feel sad for Lindsay Lohan



2. I am TOTALLY against Porn...again for reasons that you may not think..



1. I voted for a republican once



Monday, December 12, 2011

Why I don't pray

I don't pray for things. I don't. I stopped doing that around the time my daughter died. I guess it started because I was tired of hearing "no." I was tired of asking for something I felt I should have and not getting it. I guess I was tired of people telling me that everything that happened was "God's plan." I figure, no matter what I ask for (or don't ask for) isn't really important to God. He'll give me what he thinks I deserve. He'll cure me if he feels like it..if it's part of "His" plan. I don't have time to ask and wait for a result. I'll live my life the way I know in my heart I should. I still thank him for my blessings, for my trials..but I won't ask him to step in and help. He will if He wants too.

Now don't get me wrong..I am not angry at God. Not really. He's a loving father who has a lot on his plate right now. I know He's watching out. I know He cares for me. I know He loves me. He's there if I need him. The truth is, I do need him..just not the way people think I should. I need him to remind me that I am never alone. I need him to take care of Katie until I see her again. I need him to watch over Macen. I need him to protect those that I love. I need him as a reminder that there is something bigger out there. I need him, I just won't bother him with wants. He knows what I want, what I need..so I'll keep my heart open, waiting.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

My Thoughts...but this time on a blog!



I have a good life, I really do. No complaints. I like to write things down. I like to read things. I like movie quotes. I like smart people that say smart things. So, I decided to blog my findings, and blog a few things that people don't know about me..so, I doubt many will read this, so I am gonna have a blast!