Why I don't call myself a Mormon

Several years ago I lost my baby girl to SIDS. The next months are a blur. Thank goodness my husband was with me, or I probably wouldn't have gotten dressed. After the funeral I remember people talking about what a loss it was, but I should be happy because God, or one of the heavenly hosts would raise her. Seriously? This is supposed to help? Later on I felt that I needed to become more faithful in my religion. I was born and raised Mormon. I knew no other religion and I really didn't need to. I had doubts, questions, different beliefs than most of my Mormon friends..but I figured I would sort it all out later. Truly, I never felt a part of the church. I had great friends that were in church with me, and that's pretty much the only reason I wanted to go. Not that I ever had a choice.My parents are very strong with their beliefs and help positions in the church so we were required to be ther eevery Sunday. 3+ hours..sheesh! Anyway, after my duaghter died I started studying. I started to live the way I thought I should. I had callings (teaching postitions) in my ward. I taught what is in the lesson plans..some of them I straight out didn't agree with. I still taught. I behaved like a good Mormon and got the church's blessing to enter the St. George Temple. It was a beautiful day but it didn't make me feel the way I had heard I would. It left me with more questions, more doubts. Secret handshakes, secret names..(The fact that I couldn't tell my husband this name I was given really bothered me) I went through the cerimony and it was pretty, but not compforting. I got to the end, and I realized it wasn't for me. The "celestial room" wasn't what I pictured Heaven to be like. It was quiet. We all were dressed the same. When I think of Heaven I think of a party like in "My Big Fat Greek Weddin," loud, crazy, colorful..fun. People laughing and chatting. Not quiet at all. It just didn't feel like "my" heaven. Once again, I just figured it was because of the odd way I think. I told everyone how beautiful it was, not because I thought it was , but because they had this pleading in their eyes..like "Now you're one of us. You're not strange anymore..be with us, prey with us. Join us in all that we do." A few months later I went to the Temple wedding of my nephew and his beautiful bride. The ceeremony started out pretty, being sealed for time and eternity. Pretty cool. Of course I had married a non-mormon, so that blessing wasn't for me..unless I changed my husband. Later on in the speech the man in white decided to talk about tithing. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's where you give 10% of your income to the church. This bothered me. Not the idea, but that fact that we would talk money in the temple of the Lord. Wasn't this a big no-no in the bible? Oh well. It wasn't my wedding, but it still bothered me. After that questions kept coming. no one could really answer them. I tried praying. THAT did NOT work. I realized I was still pretty pissed off at God for taking my baby. Really pissed. I was actually pleased with myself for admitting that. I now knew that I DID believe in God, but I didn't believe in religion. The day that I came to that conclusion, I became, well, a happy person. I still talk to God, but not the way most religions tell you too. I speak to him like I would my own father. I love my own father. I mean, I really love to talk to my dad, and talking to God the same way made my heart happy.
Well, there it was. I didn't believe in being Mormon. This is the first time I have ever said it out loud. I still worry about how this would go over if my parents knew. I know this will dissapoint them. I can't worry about it now. It's already out there. The world wide web is all knowing!
I believe in people, not religion. I have ideas, not beliefs. I like to think. I like to change my mind when I learn new things. My mind and heart have been opened and I don't want to close them ever again.
I have never liked the way relirion has treated gay people. It makes me sad. I don't understand the hatefulness that is spread through religions. I can not put my name to ANY religion that chooses homophobia above love, and understanding.  The Mormon church seems to thrive on being against gay people. They put money into stopping gay rights. They won't allow children of gay couples to be a part of their church until the child can announce that they don't like their parents lifestyle. The Mormon church WANTS kids to disrespect their parents. They are excited about it..they think it's what God would want. I don't think I want to know their God. I'll stick with mine. Mine is loving, and kind, and has made mistakes but he learned from them. He isn't homophobic. He likes black people and thinks that mexicans should be allowed to seek a better life. My God doesn't hate. He gets pissed when people use his name to start a war or discriminate. He has the power to destry, but instead he likes to build up. He isn't looking to end the world, he's looking to make it better..
I'm not a mormon anymore. I can't be. I guess I am what they would consider an apostate. I'm okay with that.

 

I Wore Pink Today

I wore pink today. I wore pink for Emilie. I wore pink for all the little girls who lost their lives. I wore pink for my Katie, who left me too soon. I wore pink for all the moms and dads who have to bury a child. I wore pink today..instead of the red and green that is the color of this beautiful season. I wore pink today. I love pink. It has been my favorite color since I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I wore pink the day I buried my little girl. I wore pink today and remembered every second of my little girls brief but important  life. I wore pink today and prayed that Emilie's parents will love pink as I do. I wore pink today and cry every time I think about why...
There's been so much emotion over the past few days. Shock, dismay, fear, anger, and sadness. An overwhelming sadness. A sadness that brings me to my knees even though I knew no one at the school. I didn't know the teachers, I didn't know the kids, I didn't know their parents. Watching the TV screen, I wanted to know all of them. I wanted to hug each and every one of them..hug them tight, and tell them it gets easier. Not better, but easier to get through the days and nights. It gets easier to talk about your child..not in the past tense, but as if your child is right there with you..like my Katie is with me. I can't see her, but I feel her. I couldn't be there though. So, today I wore pink.
Today, I wore pink as I read my friends posts on Facebook. Today I cringed as people put up pictures of assault rifles, telling me they need to own them, it is their right to own them. Today, I thought how the last thing those children saw was an assault rifle. I wore pink today, and I cried over those pictures. I know people like guns. I don't. I won't take away your right to have a gun, but if I had the chance, every gun would be destroyed. EVERY gun. I don't need to hear from hunters and the NRA. I don't like guns. We own guns. My husband taught me how to use a gun. My son is aware of guns. He can shoot his BB gun. I still hate the fact that I would have to use a gun on another person. In a perfect world, I wouldn't need to. We don't live in a perfect world. We live in a world where we glorify a weapon, and condemn those who would want to rid the world of that weapon, or at least the need for that weapon. I wore pink today and prayed that those who would do harm would no longer be able to do it with guns.
I wore pink today and thought about the mother of the shooter. I thought how she must have suffered. I thought about all the times she thought that there was something wrong her son and didn't know where to turn for help. I thought about all the people who now blame her for something. I knew,  that even her worst thoughts,she never imagined her boy would, or could do such a horrific thing. I wore pink today as I thought of her ex husband, and her other son who have to bury her. I don't blame his mother. I won't blame his mother. She suffered enough in life, and in death.
I wore pink today, and I prayed for understanding. I prayed for something that I will never understand.
I wore pink today, and I listened as people cried, wringing their hands asking "Where was God?" "Why did God allow this to happen?" I heard them say it was our Nations fault..that we have forgotten God. I heard them say that God left...I have never been a religious person. Religion scares me..I am a person of faith. What I say now, I say it knowing with all my heart that it is true... God never left. God was in that school. He was in Colorado. He was in the Twin Towers. He was in the Pentagon. He was on Flight 93. He's in the malls. He is everywhere. He was with all of those children on Friday. He was with the teachers. He was with the first responders. He was with the mother of the shooter. He was even with the shooter himself. He can not take away choice. He gave all the signs before hand. It was and is up to us to see them. He couldn't stop the shooter. The shooter had made a choice, and became so dark that he couldn't see any light. Our Heavenly Father knew what was going to happen. He and his angles stood ready to greet each of the victims. To escort them to their Heavenly home. I know that those kids, after a moment of fear, were greeted by our Heavenly Father. There was no more pain. There was no more fear. They had gone home. I wore pink today knowing that those children are with God. I wore pink today knowing that those teachers who gave up their lives so that others may live were greeted by cheering angles as they took their place in Heaven. God never leaves.NOT EVER. He waits for us to feel him, to need him, to talk to him. Even in my darkest times I know he is there..waiting.

I wore pink today as I bowed my head to give thanks that my son is with me. I wore pink today and gave thanks that my life is blessed. I wore pink today as I prayed for Newtown Connecticut. I wore pink today. I wore pink..I might do it a little more often.

RANT

Okay. I have to keep my rants off Facebook. It doesn't do me any good to share what I think. I offend, I piss off, I get de-friended. It's just silly. I have decided that I can use MY blog to share MY feelings. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it.
FIRST: This is going WAAAAAY back but I have to get it off my chest. The Chick-filet scandal. I don't eat at CF. I never have. A few years ago I had read an interview where it whas mentioned that CF didn't like gay people. I chose not to spend my money on a place that is so open about a bigotry. No big deal. I didn't protest, I just didn't give them money.
Now, the CEO announces to the world that he donates a large amount of money to stop the legalization of Gay Marriages. The interent lights up! WhoooooHoo. The Gay and Lesbian crowd protest outside the stores, the "family" groups supports it by spending thousands of dollars to buy and consume Chicken sandwiches all the while proclaiming it is "Freedom of Speech." It was crazy and the hubaloo has died down..thank goodness.
My question to all those who said it was free speech and he was allowed to do what he wanted with his money, and he is a good Christian is this: What if, and I mean what if, the CEO of a place that you love to do business in decided to give money to, let's say, Planned Parenthood, or just to make it really juicy, pro-abortion clinics? Would you still do business there? Would you maybe, protest? I find that people believe in Free Speech as long as it agrees with what they think.
It is time to stop hatred in it's tracks. Gay people aren't bad. Family isn't bad. Free speech isn't bad, but it costs. I can say ANYTHING that I want, but I must be prepared for the consequences. If I truly believe that what I am saying is right, no amount of protesting is going to stop me. I tell my son that one voice of reason is better that a thousand screaming in confusion. I don't know what God's plan is. I can't know. I only know without a doubt, that he gave me parents to teach, a brain to learn, and a heart to know what is right. I am not a bad Mormon because I believe that marriage is just a silly word. It's the bond that is formed that makes it all worth while. I don't believe that a same sex couple is going to be the demise of all that is Holy. I believe the way we behave towards those same sex couples is what decides.Good and bad, evil and righteousness, it is alllllll in your heart.All of it. The people who stand and say that anyone who supports a same sex couple are not Christians is just as bad as the evil they are fighting. You and I are not judges of other people and what they believe. You may think that yours is the only way to Heaven, while other believe differently.
I have been given the responsibilty to teach my beautiful son the path to God. I tak it more seriously than most people give me credit for. I pray that I do right by God, but more importantly I pray that I do right by my son. It's his life that he has to live. His choices. I want him to go into life KNOWING what he believes. I want him to KNOW that he will have to work and be with people who don't agree with him. Do I tell him to cave in, because it's safe, or do I tell him, he can fight..but not with words, but with action, with love, with understanding. Do I help him open his mind, or do I close it to anything I believe is wrong? These are things that I think about!

You are Simply Amazing

I got this today from a Facebook post..I love it..and I wish everyone could not only see it, but believe it!

I love Spring

Today was a great day. I woke up this morning to a light drizzle of rain outside. By the time we were heading to the bus stop it had stopped and it was clearing. If you've never experienced a spring in Virginia you are really missing something! It's so green here. It's beautiful. Of course, I love Spring. Spring is just a step away from Summer, and that means the Beach!

Macen is feeling better so off to school he went. I came home and I didn't have to clean, or do laundry, or shop..I could just "BE" I like days like today. It makes for a nice mommy! I read. I listened to music. I took a walk. I looked at houses. I talked to my mom AND my cute husband.

I am so thankful for my life. There are times that I think I'm going crazy, but then I realize, being crazy is who I am!

My husband is on the verge of retiring from the Navy. It's bittersweet. I love the security the Military gives, but I'm so ready to have the love of my life home with me. I will miss the adventure the Navy life brings, but I am so ready to have a "normal" life. Macen loves having his dad home. I love being able to plan vacations knowing that my husband will be able to go with us. I love the life that I have lead, but now it's time for new.

It's beautiful outside tonight. My windows are open. My son is dreaming peacefully in his sleep. My Husband is safe aboard the Cole. My dogs are in bed. Life is good for the Caufield clan. (Knock on wood)

I honestly don't care about politics, birth control, gas prices, or silly celebrities tonight. My life will be okay no matter what happens. Don't misunderstand..I will voice my opinion. I will fight the fights that need fighting...but tonight, there is no fight in me. Just peace.

So, tonight, my dear friends..sleep well. Have sweet dreams. Know that you are safe and loved!

Think

So, we all know my view on Homosexuality. We also know my view on using Scriptures to make the argument against Homosexuality. I don't have anything against READING the scriptures, In fact, I have been reading with Macen in the mornings. I believe that the Scriptures give comfort when needed. I do not, however, feel that you should use them to fight a battle...This is part of an article I read today in the HuffPost. This made me laugh, and think seriously about what we take from the scriptures. Give this a read..then let me know if, perhaps, Scriptures are not to be taken word for word. The Spirit of the Law, not the Letter of it!

13. Tattoos:( Leviticus 19:28) Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. Hmm, I guess a whole mess of Bikers and Sailors are going to Hell!

12. Rounded Haircuts: (Leviticus 19:27) Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. Sorry guys..you better stop shaving. I hear the cave man look is making a come back!

11. Men with Injured or Cut Off Private Parts: (Deuteronomy 23:1) He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Wow, lets hope that God is Merciful to those poor souls who has suffered THAT type of injury!

10. Consulting Psychics: (Leviticus 19:31) Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God. Sorry Psychic Hotline...you should have seen this coming!

9. Gossiping: ( Leviticus 19:16) Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the LORD. Oh People Magazine, I will miss all the information on Snookie. TMZ I will miss your humor. Oh Bus Stop...it'll be fine..we can continue our conversation in the Underworld.

8. Wives Helping Out their Husbands in a fight. (Deuteronomy 25:11-12) When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets.Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

Sorry Grant, you're on your own!

7.Eating A Ham Sandwich: (Leviticus 11:7-8) And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

No left over Ham Sanwiches after Easter, or Christmas..That is going to SUCK!

6. Children Cursing Their Parents: ( Exodus 21:17 ) "And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death."

Buh Bye Teenages!

5. Getting Remarried after Getting a Divorce: (Mark 10:11-12) Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

WOW!!!! Donald Trump and Newt are soooo going to Hell...

4. Working on the Sabbath: (Exodus 31:14-15) "Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people.Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death."

Hmm.....sorry Emergency Workers.....

3. Women Speaking in the House of God: (1 Corinthians 14:34-35) Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

No more talks for me!!

2. Eating Lobster, Shrimp, And Other Assorted Seafood: ( Leviticus 10-11) And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

No more Red Lobster!!!

1. Losing your Virginity before Marriage: (Deuteronomy 22:20-21) But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you

Wow...a lot of women are going to be in Hell..we should all get together to stone them.

Don't worry....I haven't stopped thinking

I know I know...you all thought I had stopped thinking deep thought. I haven't, but I have been trying to not get involved in this political garbage that goes on every election year. I have stayed quiet on Facebook. I haven't insulted any political candidate. I haven't called people stupid. I have been a very good girl...but it's not good to keep things in..especially when things happen that are BEGGING for a comment..so here I go...telling you all what I think.
We'll start with the latest news first:
The Rush bomb!
I don't like Rush. I don't. I don't listen to him, or any other radio "shock jock" I don't need to get all riled up over stupid one sided comments. I do, however, read the news. ALL the news.. What Rush said this past week made me the maddest I have ever been at a celebrity.
To call a young college student a "slut" or a "prostitute" went beyond "entertainment." It was uncalled for, and it was wrong. It has nothing to do with birth control. It had nothing to do with politics. It was just mean and ignorant. I won't insult him, because I will not lower my standards to his level. I am very happy that advertisers pulled out of his show. He needs to learn a lesson. We all do. We laugh when comedians insult the famous. We cheer them on. We have allowed insults to become part of our humor. That's WRONG. It is not funny when you insult someone personally. Famous or not, it's just not right. It's not right to call each other horrible names. It's not nice. We have become a not very nice people. I have tried to teach Macen to not tease kids that are different, or that act in a way that is "unique" What does it say to him when we turn on the news and famous people are insulting anyone and everyone? So, I won't watch Rush. I don't care what he says. If you agree with him, fine. If you think that it is ever okay to call a woman a "slut" or a "prostitute" or even a "bitch" by all means, keep cheering on Rush. I won't tell you how ignorant it makes you, because deep down, you probably already know.
Okay..my view on Birth control. I like it. I believe in it. So we are all aware, birth control is NOT just abortion. I am not for abortion. I am for a woman being in charge of her reproductive system. I am all for a woman being able to get contraception..for what ever reason! I believe that it is important that women are educated on their options. I believe in EDUCATION. You will find the more educated person is about "life" the smarter their decisions are. I won't argue with people who are against Birth Control. They won't change my mind, and I am pretty sure I can't change theirs. I do believe that Insurance companies need to cover the "pill" and other forms of birth control. If I pay into insurance, it sure as heck better cover what I need!!

Okay, now on to my other thoughts.

I got a few emails over the past few weeks talking about members of the Military "relieving" themselves on some dead "enemy" soldiers. Most were in defence of it. One even had a letter form an "angry Canadian mother" cheering on the abuse of dead enemies. Part of me agreed. Part of mt thought "Serves the bad guys right." Then I heard me husband say something that brought me back to my beliefs. He was telling me about his career, and the one thing that the Military members all have in common. "Honor" he said. "Honor is what they instill in us. Honor is what stays with us. Honor is what separates us from others." He is right. Americans are above the abuse. It may feel right to get revenge, but it isn't. We are better than that. We have HONOR. We have RESPECT.

During WWII an enemy pilot from Japan crashed his plane into the USS Missouri. He died on board. The men on that ship could have tossed him overboard and no one would have judged them. They had honor though. These men, who had seen their fellow sailors die, stitched a Japanese flag, wrapped the young dead pilot in it, and gave him a proper burial at sea. That, my friends, is what America is about. It is what our Armed Forces are about. Respect, Strength, Honor...

I don't want to see those soldiers punished, but we all need to stop being "Angry Americans." We need to fight for out rights with respect. Remember, those we are fighting over there have moms. They have families. They have lives. They have been taught different things. They don't have the same respect for life. Losing life to them is far more important. We have to show them that life is more than fighting. We have to show them what it means to have Democracy. We need to show them what true HONOR is about. We don't need to burn their scriptures to prove a point. We are better than that.

Leave it to Glee to make be want to think!

So, we all know by now that I am a very strong advocate for Gay Rights. I make no apologies. I will not stop speaking up when I see injustice. I was brought up to speak my mind, and I take pride in that.

We also know that I am a HUGE Gleek! I love that show. It makes my heart smile.

Tonights episode was, honestly, one of the best shows I have ever seen. Last years "bully" who fianlly came out as Gay got a taste of his own medicine. Instead of standing strong, he felt he couldn't take it and tried to take his own life. My heart actually broke for this boy, because I know that far too many kids feel the same way. I watched as the boys on his sports team tormented him to the point where he felt he had no hope..and once again, my heart broke for the people who have lost hope.

I believe that God will judge us on the intent of our heart. I believe that those who freely love will be blessed. I believe that Gay people will be judged just like everyone else. Not on WHO they loved, but HOW they loved.

Things I Like To Do

25. I like to practice my acceptance speeches in the mirror

24. I like to shop online

23. I like to pretend I am someone famous

22. I like to sing on the toilet...

21. I like to dance in the car

20. I like to sing badly in the car with the windows opened

19. I like to talk back to the TV

18. I like to pretend that I am the smartest person

17. I like to look out the window and pretend I am over-looking my kingdom

16. I like to act tough

15. I like to people watch

14. I like to window shop

13. I like to take naps in the sunshine

12. I like to talk like Paula Dean when I am cooking

11. I like to talk to the squirrels in my front yard

10. I like walk in the rain

9. I like to laugh at people

8. I like to talk to my husband

7. I like to ride in the car with the windows open

6. I like to go to the beach

5. I like to explore historical places

4. I like to shop at tourist traps

3. I like to facebook

2. I like to go shopping with my husband

1. I like being a mom

Dance!

Just Sit Back, Relax, And Learn About Me!

25. I HATE scary movies. I can't leave until the movie is over. I can't turn it off...I have to see the bad guy meet his maker!

24. I don't like to be 'Surprised" by people hiding behind doors.

23. I don't like to go to church. I really don't. I try..I just don't enjoy it.

22. I am scared of horses, but I love to watch them from a distance.

21. I want to work with kids with special needs

20. I have a huge crush on the guy who plays "Finn" on "Glee"

19. I think the Football playoffs are fixed

18. I believe that the Republicans need to get their act together if they plan on having a chance to win the election in 2012

17. I believe that there would be less abortions if we taught our children how important they are.

16. I think Ricky Martin is HOT (He's Sexy and he knows it!)

15. I don't do crafts. Doesn't interest me at all!

14. I want to end the group known as Million Moms!

13. I find if hard to sympathize with people who mess up their own lives.

12. I want to dance!

11. I want to celebrate my 50th birthday in Greece...Mama Mia style

10. I sing really loud in the shower, with the window cracked open so people can hear me

9. I laugh at stupid jokes, even if I don't get them

8. I have a hard time forgiving people that hurt my friends

7. My son has a temper just like mine

6. The Doritos commercial with the dog made me laugh so hard a little tear ran down my leg

5. The NFL is a Socialist organization

4. I believe that Josh Powell is burning in Hell, and it makes me smile

3. I made Lemon Bars this morning and I can not get them out of my mind

2. I see myself growing old with my husband...

1. I think I am a bad ass until I go to the bus stop...some of those women scare the poop out of me!

Home

My cute little man Macen has a blog..you all know that by now. The other day, a friend asked him to give advice to parents. It was a fun conversation. He had some pretty good ideas. One of my favorite things that he said was "Have a house that is fun to come home to." That was pretty deep. I asked him if our house was fun..he looked at me like I had an extra set of ears. He said "Well duh Mom...why do you think everyone likes to come over?" I will admit, that made me smile.
I grew up in a house that was fun to come to home to. My mom made sure of it. We laughed a lot. We joked around. My mom was the QUEEN of April Fools day. I have so many fond memories of our house in Manlius!
I think it's important for your kids to love being home. I think it's important that your kids feel safe and secure in their homes. I think it's nice to be able to exhale when they come home after a hard day.
A long time ago I made a goal to never "nag" when Grant or Macen comes through the door. I need to give them time to relax..to exhale. It's so important. There is nothing so important that you can't give a few minutes of joy when your loved ones come home.
So, Relax, sit back...you're home!

I Stand with Planned Parenthood (and so should you)

I Stand with Planned Parenthood

Yes, I am a Liberal. Yes, I love choice. No, I don't agree with abortions. No, I don't believe that I have the right to take away a persons choice in what they want to do with their body. Yes, I have used Planned Parenthood. No, it wasn't for anything "bad" Yes, I donate money to Planned Parenthood, and I do not regret it.

Yesterday the Susan G. Koman foundation caved in to "Right to lifer's" and pulled money away from Planned Parenthood.

My very first breast exam was done at a Planned Parenthood. I was terrified because I thought that I felt a lump. I had no insurance, and not enough money to go to a Doctor's office. The staff at Planned Parenthood were so kind, and reassuring. They helped me go through what, as most women know, is a very scary exam. Fortunately, I was clear, and I will never forget what those dedicated doctor's and nurses did for me.

I used Planned Parenthood for my first Birth Control. As a single girl from a Mormon family I wasn't sure who to turn to. Once again, the staff at Planned Parenthood helped me. First , they did not just give me condoms or the Pill. They talked to me about what it meant to become sexually active. They were educators, health advisers, friends..

I Stand with Planned Parenthood

It is a fear tactic that Right to Life groups use to make it sound like Planned Parenthood is JUST about abortions. Abortions are a very small service that Planned Parenthood provides. They don't just bring in a pregnant girl and vacuum her out. They talk to her about ALL the choices that she has. The EDUCATE her. That's the key to Planned Parenthood. They teach. They advise. They don't force. They don't use scare tactics. They don't show her horrible pictures and tell her she's doomed to Hell. That's not what Planned Parenthood is about.

I don't agree with Abortions. So, I haven't had one. That's MY choice. That is what I decided for MYSELF. I will NEVER tell a person what they HAVE to do. I will never SCARE a woman in to doing what I believe.

I Stand with Planned Parenthood

There will be some, who will read this, who will be offended. I have respect for those who defend the lives of the unborn. I do not, however, have respect to those who wish to take away a womans right to choose what to do with HER body.

I Stand with Planned Parenthood.

I am Grateful for the Military

As you probably have read on either Facebook or Macen's blog, my little boy has a pretty bad head cold. He woke up this morning sounding horrible. I called the appointment line and was lucky enough to get him in THIS afternoon. Those of you who deal with Military clinics know that this is a miracle when it happens. Macen is fine. He's got medication and is already sounding better.

As I sat with him today I realized how very blessed we in the military are. We were in a very clean, safe military hospital. The Medication is right there. We have to wait, but when we left, we had everything we needed.

My friend Courtney mentioned on Facebook the other day how tiring it was to hear military members or their spouses complain about what we have. I agreed with her then, and I agree with her even more now.

First off, I need to debunk a few myths. We are not "given" free medical. We pay for it, we just don't see it come out of our paychecks. We are lucky in that we don't have to worry about our medical care. We receive it no matter where we are. I love that!

Secondly, our doctors are pretty amazing. They see so many people EVERY day! They deal with every sickness, every injury, every medical condition you can think of. They're not perfect, but I promise you they are dedicated.

That being said, I am so grateful to be married to my military man. I am blessed to live in a neighborhood where everyone is going through, has gone through, or will go through the "military spouse experience" I love the adventures that we have. I miss him when he's gone, but it only makes it that much better when he comes home!

So, today, I again want to thank all those who have served in the Military. You are hero's to more people than you will ever know! (and on a side note: Grant, I am very thankful for you!)

A Bad Day at the Beach is still Better than a Good Day at Work

No rants today. No outbursts. Just me and a beach! Macen and I took a walk on Yorktown Beach this morning. No, it didn't look like the above picture, but I promised Macen no camera this morning. It was so peaceful this morning, but to me, it's always peaceful. I love the beach. I love the sand. I love the rocks covered in (what Macen calls) Ocean moss.

Today we didn't talk about Macen's Asperger's . We didn't talk about how much we missed Daddy. We just talked about the view. We noticed how the tide changed the beach. We talked about the dead jellyfish. (I know, not a great topic, but remember, Macen is a 9 1/2 year old boy, so anything gross is up for conversation) We talked about how lucky we were to live so close to the water. We had to, once again, look at the cave that Lord Cornwallis set up camp in during the Revolutionary War. Macen likes that story, and he likes the cave. We talked about what it would be like to live during the Revolutionary War. Macen decided that he likes living in "this" time because "what would I do for video games without electricity?" On a side note he said I should be happy too because they didn't have microwaves OR a Walmart....

This morning was so wonderful. I am so grateful to live where I do. I am grateful for the times I have with my son. He has taught me so much about being okay with whatever life deals us.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday. Get some rest. Thank God for you blessings. Tell you loved ones how much they mean to you. Enjoy the day.

I Stand

Today on Facebook, I read a comment from an acquaintance. In the comment he asked all those in Washington State to call their representatives and tell them to NOT support the gay rights bill. He made it very clear how much he was against gay people getting married. He commented that if "they" get their way, gay people will demand equality in not only marriage rights, but in education as well. He told in horror how he would have to pull a 1st grade out of school because a teacher might have to teach about "Johnny having two moms"

I've heard this all before. It bothers me on many levels.

First, he made sure to preface the comment by saying he was not a bigot, nor was he "intolerant" Really? What do you call a person who is so against a persons lifestyle that he would take a child out of school if someone dares to teach about different families? He called them a minority group that was threatening the "Christian way of life" WOW! Sounds like what the KKK said back in the 60's. I'm pretty sure we can agree that the KKK are considered "intolerant bigots"

Second, he called upon the people in my church to do something about it. He fears that if Gay people get the right to marry, they'll sue the Mormon church to get married in the Temple. Really? I'm sure that after being treated so badly by the Mormon Church for decades, the first thing Gay people would want to do is join the church and dedicated their lives to being celibate, since they can not actively engage in a homosexual lifestyle.

Third. Enough is enough. You don't believe in Gay Marriage? Don't have one. You don't want your child to learn about different families? Pull them out of school and see how they function as adults in the real world. Gay people are here. Gay people are just like us straight people. They search for love and when they find it they want to get married,raise a family and live happily ever after.

I know there are many of my friends who do not agree with me. I know there are many in my church who look down on my views. that's okay. I respect their views. I will, however, not stay silent when intolerance and bigotry show their ugly heads. I stand for the rights of Gay people. I have said it before..If I have to choose between Religion and People...I will choose people...

Shoes

Before you judge someone,

walk a mile in their shoes,

if then you still don't like them,

your a mile away..

and you have their shoes

I Believe

Everyone has to believe in something.

I believe I'll take a nap.

Do you know this about me?

25. I met my first best friend, Susan, in Manlius New York while riding my Big Wheel through our new neighborhood.

24. I met by BFF, Nan, in Fallon Nevada while we were in Sunday School. She swore and I knew we were soul sisters.

23. I met my Military Bestie, Pam, at the Chiefs club, but I knew who she was because I kept talking to her daughter Courtney at the bus stop and Courtney had NO idea who I was!!!

22. I am intimidated by my sister Kim's incredible knowledge and talent.

21. I can't swim in an ocean. Jaws scared the living hell out of me. My Aunt Cindy took me to the movie and to this day, the music panics me!

20. I got my love of history from my dad.

19. My very first History report was assigned by my mom and dad for our trip to Boston. I had to do Bunker Hill and The Boston Tea Party. Because of that, I LOVE to study the Revolutionary War, and I think that's where I got my "crazy views" of the Government

18. My very first "crush" was on a friend of my older Brother.

17. I love sunshine, summer and the beach

16. I dated a doctor (well, an intern) once, but I couldn't visit him at work because Hospitals make me ill.

15. I hate hospitals but Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show

14. I love to talk about politics. It's a passion of mine, but I can't stand to argue about politics

13. I can not understand people who are against same sex marriage. None of what they say makes any sense to me.

12. Macen and I love to quote commercials. We do it in the middle of normal conversations...

11. My favorite memories are the ones while growing up in Manlius. I often find myself boring Macen about my childhood.

10. I had an invisible friend

9. I use to drive my "inchworm" vehicle off the porch of our house in Moline Illinois

8. I love MUD!

7. my dog Bear saved my life

6. My first bike was a pretty pretty blue with a flowered Banana seat..and then my brother John painted it....

5. I have more Faith than people give me credit for.

4. I love lemon cake

3. I love Daisies, Tulips, Sunflowers

2. My most favorite smell is lilac

1. When I lay down to sleep, my very last thought is always about Grant

Imagine

I have lots and lots of time to think about things. Sometimes that's a good thing..sometimes....not so much. Today it was a good thing. I watched the State of the Union last night. I loved it..not because I am a democrat...but because it gave me hope. I actually found myself clapping along. I cheered. I don't do that usually. Normally I listen, nod my head..and wait to hear what the other party thinks. Last night was awesome.

It made me imagine what it would be like if everyone helped out. EVERYONE. Rich, poor, gay, straight, black, white...you get the picture. We're all in this together.

Imagine if we didn't argue over religion?

Imagine if we didn't argue over politics?

What a great place this would be.

Imagine if we helped the unemployed? The hungry? The mentally ill? The uneducated?

Imagine if we not only supported out troops but actually volunteered our time in the services?

Imagine if we gave schools the help they need?

Imagine if insurance didn't cost so much?

Imagine what it would be like if we could allow our children safe places to play?

Imagine if we could actually respect each other?

I think that we could make these things real if we WORK TOGETHER.

I like to imagine things changing for the good. I like to find hope. I like to imagine!